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A Reflection One Year After the Loss of My Dear, Sweet, Father

A wound that can never be healed
A void that will never be filled
An ache that can never be soothed
A sadness that will never fade
A heart that will always be broken
An emptiness that will always exist
A wish that will never come true
A portrait that can never be replicated

A battle that couldn’t be won
A disease that couldn’t be outsmarted
A path of destruction that couldn’t be changed
A fight that couldn’t have been harder
A will to live that has been stolen

A new strength and endurance that has been built
A peaceful rest that is eternal
A spirit that will never die
A love that will last forever
A thousand memories that will never fade

A father who will always be our foundation
A husband who will always be loved and cherished
A grandfather who adored his grandbabies
A boy who loved Christmas
A football player who loved the game
A fisherman who didn’t give up
A joker who was so full of life
A leader who was an inspiration to everyone
A friend who gave all he had to share
A builder who made the world a better place
A rider who paved the way for so many
A man who can never be replaced
An influence that will last forever

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The Pain

The pain, it runs so deep
Like a chasm through the heart
My emotions flow like a river through my body sprinkling out like rain

His big, warm hands that used to warm mine have turned cold
His strong arms that carried me home have become tired
His desire for foods that we used to share are gone
His lungs have become clouded and his cough has gone dry

He is my sun and I am his shining star
He is my mentor and I am his apprentice
He is my best friend and I am his partner in crime
He is my coach and I am his most valuable player
He is my talented manager and I am his artist
He is my navigator and I am his traveler
He is my builder/developer and I am his tree hugger
He is my advisee and I am his rebel
He is my rock and I am the twinkle in his eye
He is my spark and I am his princess

His selfless ways of caring and sharing have set an example to all who know him
He is a king and a father to us all—a true legend
Never once putting himself before his family or friends, even when cancer’s evil claws got a hold of his body
For each and every last breath is spent taking care of his queen
Making sure all of his family are squared away in the right houses and cars—no bills to pay
The only sense of this I can make, is that some of us are too good for this world

On a walk one day, I prayed for a sign to know that there really is a better place
I prayed for someone or something to send me a sign so that I would know that dad will be OK
Then I forgot about my silly thought and kept walking
When all of a sudden, a swirl of wind stirred up a few leaves
That made a loud brushing sound and caught my attention behind me
I did a double take and looked around. No other leaves or branches were moving
It was like a spiritual sign of another dimension

How do you explain a stereo turning on in the middle of the night several times after my aunt lost her husband?
My great grandmother called out to children at her gates to heaven as she was leaving this world
Daddy saw a little girl in the doctor’s office as he was starting to slip away
And he told us about a man, who we think was an angel, who was waiting for him in the other room two days before his death

We helped him fight until the end
Because he didn’t want to leave his family, but we didn’t have a choice
God was ready for him and his time had come
For his soul to escape the suffering that the cancer had caused his body
And join the angels in heaven and live in peace

I truly believe that his soul is all around us
Telling us what to do in our heads and watching us all grow
He will always stay in our hearts
And he will show through our actions as he taught us all well
Now all that remains is the unconditional love that he gave us
And the strength from such a grueling cancer battle

One thing is for certain—cancer can’t take away our kind of love that lasts for all of eternity

As cancer has touched our lives, this is what we take away
We don’t live for the future, but we appreciate each day
As the sun rises and sets and the clock ticks away
Take this time to tell those you love how you feel
And appreciate each day—not wishing one second away
Don’t focus on the material things in live or fair weather friends
Instead focus on your relationships, the things that really matter
Don’t sweat life’s small frustrations
Because each day with our loved ones is a treasure

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Getting Ready for Candy and Nick’s Second Birthday!

We are going to have a little party over here next Sunday. Nothing too fancy, just a few of our close friends who have children ages 1 to 3. I started baking the cupcakes tonight. My sister has the cookbook for the Magnolia’s Bakery in New York City and we love the vanilla cake with buttercream icing.

I ordered Mickey Mouse cupcake liners to go with the theme of the party, Micky Mouse! :) Micky Mouse is coming over here! I bought a gift certificate from Dream Friends.

Next week is going to be busy because I have my last Web Certificate Capstone course Thursday night and my second Dynamic Web Content (Wiki’s, Blogs, and More) so I have to start cooking now!!!

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Betty’s Blog: All About Me

How I Became an Artist

My mother first learned that I was an artist when my 2-year old preschool teacher called her to meet and she said that in all of her years of teaching, she had never seen a 2-year old stay in the lines of a coloring book! I won an art poster contest in the second grade for our school fair. My aunt was a very successful and talented artist and she taught me how to draw when I was growing up. My mother was also an artist who passed along her innate talents and she always encouraged my creativity to flourish. In my sophomore year at a girls only prep school was the monumental year when I learned how to paint with watercolors as we sat outside and painted a row of houses on Rivermont Avenue in downtown Lynchburg. I received the school art award. When I transferred to a coed prep school, I sold my first painting which was hung in the school hallway and I also won the school art award in my senior year of graduation.

I continued my studies in art at the University of Georgia and I graduated with a bachelor of fine arts degree, majoring in painting. The UGA art building (then called the college of Arts and Sciences and is now called the Lamar Dodd School of Art) was my second home when I wasn’t participating in football game day festivities, fraternity parties, or partying with girlfriends in downtown Athens. All of my jeans had specks of dried oil paint and I smelled of turpentine and paint thinner. I was one of the only college students who had original art on the walls of my condo (instead of posters). My senior exit show for my class was one of the most exciting days of my life.

Graphic Design

I vowed never to use a computer when I graduated in 1995 so I sold portraits and worked at the High Museum of Art. Then the big technology boom hit and it seemed like overnight everyone was using computers and had an e-mail address. I realized that I needed to stop living in the dark ages and I went to computer school full time. My father had been preaching to me all of this time that I should work in the field of commercial art and he fully supported me in my new mission. He was the kind of father who supported me in anything I ever wanted to do. He bought me an electric guitar and a drum set one year for Christmas when I wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. When I ran track, he bought me a shotput and a discus. Over the years, he always helped me my haul my artwork to showings, helped me to set up, came to the event, and helped me clean up and take everything back home that didn’t sell.

Learning How to Use a Computer

Not only did I learn how to turn on a computer and use a mouse, but I learned how to use all of the office programs as a foundation before jumping into graphic design! I loved it so much and realized that this was a way that I could make a stable income and support myself as a single woman and still fulfill my creative desires. I also took an html class at Kinko’s and got my first job as a Web Designer at a telecommunications firm. I build the whole site in html. I worked in the engineering department and even helped fix other employees’ computers and maintain the servers.

Professional Career and Riding the Dot Com Wave

Since then, I have worked as a graphics and marketing coordinator for a hospitality software company and an advertising director for a dot com (which was very fast paced and short lived). Then I worked as a Senior Cognitive Designer for an eBusiness agency where I built Flash and Dreamweaver prototypes and dabbled with Premier. We developed a process that we called “visioning,” where we met with clients and learned about all of their requirements, listed the desired functionality, and planned out the site architecture before starting the design. I established the process where the designers would draft a site outline, page layout mock-ups, and navigation map before the actual sites were built. My focus was the front-end design and we had a team of developers who we worked closely with to implement these sites. But this firm was also short lived and after September 11, 2001 and the big Enron crash, the Atlanta office shut down and they moved all the work to headquarters. I stayed on as a freelancer and worked for many different clients to include BP solar and Coca-Cola. I sold many portraits and hand painted products (i.e., pocketbooks, wine glasses) during this time.

My Artist Husband

2003 was a transitional year for me because I married my husband, who is a talented architect and artist. He is my toughest critic with an exceptional eye for detail. He helps me make my artwork the best that it can be. His best word of advice was to mute my colors a little bit (instead of bright turquoise skies, tone it down a bit and bring out those Nantucket grays). We enjoy traveling together and sketching in our sketchbooks. I always knew that I had to marry another artist because drawing and painting is such a big part of my life and I wanted to be able to share that experience with my true love and my dream came true!

Getting Married and Going to Work at ICF

The week of my wedding, my contract job ended at Coca-Cola and I applied for a graphic design position posted in the AJC at ORC Macro when everyone else told me to take some time off for the wedding and honeymoon. One of the best decisions I ever made was to apply for that job because I’ve been with the company ever since I walked in the door to interview the Monday after my honeymoon. It’s been a great eight years! The company has grown and changed its name a few times (we are now ICF International) and I have been given the opportunity to work for the CDC and specialize in public health, where I do good for the community.

At ICF, I started out working in the Publications department, focusing on print design, with a few Web projects. After 5 years, I applied for an internal job opening as an eLearning designer job and I have learned all kinds of new skills with eLearning!

Harry Bissett’s Opportunity

In 2009 I sought out a new opportunity to sell my University of Georgia tailgating scenes at the Atlanta Harry Bissett’s restaurant and I became pregnant with twins. During this year, I spent all of my free time painting and I filled the private dining room at Bissett’s with my art. I sold a good amount of paintings there, established a new clientele, and found my niche in subject matter of UGA tailgating art. Unfortunately, the restaurant closed from lack of funding the month before my twins were born.

Taking a Break

After the birth of my twins in 2009, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, which caused me to take a two-year hiatus from painting. My father was my role model, best friend, cheerleader, and biggest fan (as I was his). He was always enthusiastic about my artistic ability, even in the days when I made minimum wage at the High Museum of Art. He was so proud of my paintings and my parents had my art displayed all over their house. He even decorated his office with my artwork, which was published in the Lynchburg, Virginia paper. Both of my parents have always been my biggest fans and always encouraged my art and graphic design career. This devastating loss that caused my family so much pain and suffering took away my creativity will until I could rebuild my spirit.

Healing

My children kept me happy and alive even in my darkest days when I suffered from losing my father. On top of everything else, we had to move and renovate a new house. My husband was very supportive and took care of the children for me so that I could spend the night at my parents in my father’s final days. I had signed up for Web design classes that month and it was the best thing for me because it kept me busy and preoccupied with learning new Web design skills. I had only taken one course in Emory’s Webmaster Certificate program and we were still getting settled in our new house. I also had twins to take care of and a full time job. Keeping groceries in the refrigerator and keeping the house cleaned on weekends left little time to paint. I was studying every free minute I had when the children slept.

Back Again at Full Force

It has been a busy year. We are settled in our house and the children are almost two years old. Things are getting easier. Right now I am obtaining a Webmaster Certificate from Emory University and I am already putting my skills to use on various projects at work as I have transitioned into a Web Communications Specialist role. In this final capstone course, I am rebuilding my online portfolio to obtain Web design experience and I will finally have the capability to market and sell my artwork and art products online.

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